All Differences Aside....

A few years ago, two of my closest friends and I were inseparable. We went everywhere together and had a great time. Then one of our group went away to live in Wyoming.

Before she left, she was watching my son before and after school. That caused some issues because my son and her just did not get along. She had this way of demanding respect instead of earning it, especially with children. My son wasn't the type to lie down and take it. It caused friction to say the least.

That only caused some issues though. Some other issues were caused by the fact that for months she had been making plans with me a flaking out at the last minute. It was upsetting, but we could have even made it past that. The last straw was a few days before she left.

It was very petty. It started with a conversation over MSN messenger of all things. I am not sure of all that was said at the time, but something happened between herself and my son, and it was a gross over-reaction on her part from where I stood. I told her so, and said that I knew it was because she was stressed about the move. After all, she had five kids of her own, and one of them was a newborn, and her husband had already left for Wyoming a month before to find them a place to live and start a new job. She insisted that it wasn't the move that was stressing her out, but my son. This made me very angry, and I am sure I told her so. I am sure I pointed out that to let a child have that much control was not the child's fault. She then agreed and said it was my fault because I couldn't keep him "in-line". Those parts stick out in my head because they infuriated me. I remember making it known that this couldn't be the case because I didn't have these same issues (whatever they were) at home. I also told her that if that is how she wanted to be about it, than so be it. I haven't spoken to her since, and it has been over a year.

You see, she always had a problem with lashing out at those around her when life wasn't going her way. I knew that, and for the most part I just excepted it. Nothing was ever her fault either. She was a good friend anyway, so I was able to overlook a lot of this. It didn't matter. Good friends are hard to come by after all, and good friends do that for one another.

I should have known better about the good friend part though. There was this existing track record. She only has one friend that she has been friends with longer than two years. That is the other person in our party of three that I mentioned earlier. I remember hearing all the stories of the other people in her life that she had cut ties with. It was always their fault the friendships didn't last longer than a few years. In fact, she did the same thing with work. She never kept a job past the two year mark to my knowledge. It was never her fault that she was fired, or made mad enough to quit. I am sure that is another story all together. Back to the story at hand.

Where was I....

It does bother me a bit though, that after all this time I am sure she still thinks she did nothing wrong.

Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, "Let it go. For Christ's sake, it has been over a year!" You are right. I thought I had let it go. Then I got this message today from her.

All differances aside you are invite to a baby shower tomorrow at 2pm in (city near me). I know (name removed) would really really like you to be there sorry for short notice they just asked me to ask you.

The shower is for the other person in our party of three who I still remain very close to. My differences with my ex-friend wold never affect anything for or with the mother to be. I am truly just not that way. It does bother me that she made the shower for 2 PM in the middle of a work day though, and that she didn't bother to tell me until 8PM the day before the shower which ensures I can't take off early from work as I am not able to give my employers enough notice. I am sure she has known about it longer than tonight as well, as getting here from Wyoming with all of those kids is no small task. Even without the kids it wouldn't be a small undertaking.

So, with all differences aside (differences that don't truly seem to be set aside), I would like to say to her, grow up and get over yourself, get a life and quit trying to mess with mine by stirring up emotions. Instead, I said this,

"Our differences don't affect how I feel about (name removed)... I appreciate the invite and the message.

Unfortunately, I work tomorrow until 5 PM (or later, as the trend has been lately)...the earliest I could make it out that way is probably by 7, and I have to work Tuesday, so at that late hour I wouldn't be able to stay long. Please let (name removed) know that I have some things here for her and will bring them by as soon as I can."

I hate taking the high road when all I want to say is "F*** YOU!" Sometimes the high road just doesn't give a person enough satisfaction. Why did I take the high road you might ask? I am tired of the drama I get involved in when I don't. I am tired of giving people the satisfaction of knowing that they bothered me when that is what they set out to do. I would also like to think that I grew up, and although some of the same petty emotions are there on occasion, I am out of high school and adult enough not to play these games anymore. These types of games can be played just as well without me involved right?

Now, my only hope is that she doesn't, by chance, read this. If she does, I can only hope that she sees the errors of her ways. The later is highly unlikely, so I will pray for the former instead, as not to waste my efforts.