Ask Captain Dramatic

I got a pretty funny email the other day, and decided that I would ask Captain Dramatic the same questions that were in email. Here are his replies, along with the replies from other children in the email.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep
the chips and dip coming. (Attaboy Alan)
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who
you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

CD: By reading your Chinese Horoscope.

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then.
-- Camille, age 10

CD: 18 to 30 - because you can't have kids over 40 ands you should at least be married five years before you have kids

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at
the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

CD: If they are holding hands and yelling at the same kids.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

CD: They like to make car alarms go off in parking garages.

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

CD: Dance

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

CD: I would yell, "Shut up woman and let me talk!"

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with
that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

CD: Anytime!

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone
to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

CD: Married because then you can have kids! Never mind, I don't want kids. You said they would two times worse than me.

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

CD: There would only be a few people left on earth because you can't have kids unless your married.

And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump
truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

CD: OK, I'll be the man and do everything.

Yep, I have some areas of concern, and by his standards only 10 years to fix them. Wish me luck!

To learn how you can submit your questions to Captain Dramatic, click here. Don't be shy!