Ask Captain Dramatic
As I mentioned in last week's episode of Ask Captain Dramatic, this week marked the first week of third grade. CD was very excited and remains so. He also never ceases to amaze me. Here is why.
This weekend is a three day weekend compliments of Labor Day. My ex-husband, CD's biological father, wanted to take CD camping over this weekend. He called and requested that he be able to pick CD up right after school on Friday. I said that was OK, but he would have to walk over to the school with Dad-E to do so, but that would also give him a chance to meet CD's new teacher. He sounded as if he liked that idea, so I let Dad-E know, and the plan was set.
On Friday, my ex-husband met my current husband here at home and they meandered over to the elementary school together. Class let out and CD runs up to both of them and proudly proclaims to his teacher:
CD: Ms. V, these are my two dads!
That could have so been interpreted in a bad way, but Dad-E quickly explained the step-father, biological father thing, and they all went on their merry way, ending at our home with CD giving Dad-E two hugs because one was for me, who was of course, still at work.
This whole exchange impressed me. If you had asked me right after the divorce, I would have never guessed that the ex and I would be getting along, let alone the ex, and my new husband, Dad-E. Not only that, but CD impresses me even more because he has love and respect enough for both of them, and broadcasts it to anyone who will listen. It is obvious that the three adults in CD's parenting entourage, have been able to be the parents that one little boy is very proud to have. He has no fear of reprimand from any of us, for loving all of us the same, and the smile we all give him when he does is enough reward for him.
It's takes a village, doesn't it?
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1 comment:
I grew up in that situation. I was the kid with two dads. It was not hard for me to differentiate, but hard for me to explain to others. As I grew older, more kids my age were faced with the same situation, so I was no longer unique. The hard thing was for my father, who could not be there to raise me.
Now, I am the stepdad. I try very hard to treat Nathan like he was my own. I guess I was lucky, he was 3 when Brandy and I met and his father has never been part of his life. His biological sperm donor is a real loser piece of @#$%. Nathan does not remember him and to be honest we want it that wat. His father is an alchoholic and a druggie, so Nate is better off.
But for me it has not been hard to be daddy to Nate. It just takes the desire to love, and I got plenty of love to give.
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