Yesterday's Answer: Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Today's Quote:
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Every once in awhile you hear a good CLEAN joke that you feel obligated to pass along, and this is one of them.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington DC parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of air and to see the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the US House of Representatives for assistance. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is speaker Pelosi. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St.Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Speaker Pelosi, considering herself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obliged to first notify the next of kin."
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Paulo Coelho
Today's Quote:
"The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Nancy Reagan
Today's Quote:
"You are not defeated when you lose. You are defeated when you quit."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Epictetus
Today's Quote:
"A woman is like a tea bag: you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Thomas Jefferson
Today's Quote:
"Man is troubled not by events, but by the meaning he gives them."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Friedrich Hayek
Today's Quote:
"An injured friend is the bitterest of foes."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Claude Pepper
Today's Quote:
"To be controlled in our economic pursuits means to be controlled in everything."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Winston Churchill
Today's Quote:
"The mistake some politicians make is forgetting they've been appointed & thinking they`ve been anointed."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Hmm, I've always wondered this myself... now I know.
- People born before 1946 were called The Silent generation..
- The Baby Boomers, are people born between 1946 and 1959.
- Generation X, people have been born between 1960 and 1979.
- Generation Y, are the people born between 1980 and 2009
Why do we call the last group Generation Y?
I never did know, but recently a cartoonist explained it very eloquently below. Learned something new today!
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Charles M. Schulz
Today's Quote:
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Eric Hoffer
Today's Quote:
"Aunt Marion was right... Never marry a musician, and never answer the door."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Jean Piaget
Today's Quote:
"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Lily Tomlin
Today's Quote:
"The principle goal of education is to create men who are capable of doing new things, not simply of repeating what others have done."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Marilyn Monroe
Today's Quote:
"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Ronald Reagan
Today's Quote:
"I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Henry David Thoreau
Today's Quote:
"I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, Walter and his wife, Ann, listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered, "Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?"
And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Mae West
Today's Quote:
"Not only must we be good, but we must also be good for something. "
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Carl Reiner
Today's Quote:
"They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Deepak Chopra
Today's Quote:
"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Seneca
Today's Quote:
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Mark Twain
Today's Quote:
"If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Bertha Calloway
Today's Quote:
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Oprah Winfrey
Today's Quote:
"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he asks solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive, and remembers their wedding anniversary. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember!" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too' she replies softly."
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have been released today."
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Winston Churchill
Today's Quote:
"Lots of people want to ride with u in the limo, but what u want is someone who will take the bus with u when the limo breaks down."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Sam Levenson
Today's Quote:
"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
This Post Was Written By Cindy
Pearl Harbor was originally a shallow embankment called Wai Momi(Pearl Water) or Pu'rloa (long Hill). It was considered the home of the shark goddess, Ka'ahupahua, and her brother, Kahiuka. Tradition says that Keaunui, the legendary chief of the Ewa chiefs is the one who created a navigable channel near the present day Pu'uloa saltworks. The estuary known as "Pearl River" was then accessible to shipping. It was never used for large shipping because of the shallow entrance. As whaling and trading began to use the islands as a half-way point in the Pacific, by 1820 the US was looking for a major harbor. It was not until the turn of the century that Pearl Harbor began to be refitted for larger naval vessels. The naval base we know today was formally opened when the dry dock was open to flooding on August 21, 1919.
As early as February 1, 1933, the Navy staged a mock attack on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese. The exercise was a disaster. Even in 1933 it was known that Pearl Harbor's defenses were considered, after the mock attack by Japan, a failure. It makes the events of December 7, 1941 even more heart wrenching. The War Department knew the attack was coming. They did not know when. They did not realize that Pearl Harbor, which was basically a sitting duck, was to be the location of the attack. It was assumed the attack would come in the Philippines.
"Under the command of Admiral Chuichi Nagumo, the attack was devastating in loss of life and damage to the U.S. fleet. At 06:05 on December 7, the six Japanese carriers launched a first wave of 183 aircraft composed mainly of dive bombers, horizontal bombers and fighters. The Japanese hit American ships and military installations at 07:51. The first wave attacked military airfields of Ford Island. At 08:30, a second wave of 170 Japanese aircraft, mostly torpedo bombers, attacked the fleet anchored in Pearl Harbor. The battleship Arizona was hit with an armor-piercing bomb which penetrated the forward ammunition compartment, blowing the ship apart and sinking it within seconds. Overall, nine ships of the U.S. fleet were sunk and 21 ships were severely damaged. Three of the 21 would be irreparable. The overall death toll reached 2,403, including 68 civilians, and 1,178 injured. Of the military personnel lost at Pearl Harbor, 1,177 were from the Arizona. The first shots fired were from the destroyer Ward on a midget submarine that surfaced outside of Pearl Harbor; Ward sank the midget sub at approximately 06:55, about an hour before the attack on Pearl Harbor. Japan would lose 29 out of the 350 aircraft they attacked with...."
This weeks post is special to me. Bryan attended the same schools I did from grade school to high school. I remember him as being kind, but being just one of the guys. We had many mutual friends, but never really knew each other well. I am still very proud of him all the same, and wish his family the best.
This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Mrs Xoke
Yesterday's Answer: Confucius
Today's Quote:
"You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Leonardo Da Vinci
Today's Quote:
"Worry not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowing."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Charles Schwab
Today's Quote:
"Wisdom is the daughter of experience."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Steve Jobs
Today's Quote:
"When a man has put a limit on what he will do, he has put a limit on what he can do."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Sipho had a girlfriend, Lorraine, very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day Sipho went to work and found a gorgeous new girl had come to work at his office, named Clearly. He was quite smitten with her and she was very interested in him too, but Sipho was a loyal man and wouldn't do anything with Clearly while he was still with Lorraine. He decided to break up with Lorraine and get it on with Clearly, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
Then one day he and Lorraine went for a walk along the river bank, she slipped and fell into the river, the current carried her off and she drowned. Sipho stopped for a moment by the river, and then ran off smiling and singing and smiling and singing.
What was he singing, you ask?
WAIT FOR IT..
"I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone."
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Prince
Today's Quote:
"Overnight success stories take a long time."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Madonna
Today's Quote:
"No child is bad from the beginning, they just imitate their atmosphere."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Nathanael Emmons
Today's Quote:
"I'm tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Walter Reuther
Today's Quote:
"Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Lucille Ball
Today's Quote:
"If you are not big enough to lose, you are not big enough to win."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Wayne Dyer
Today's Quote:
"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Michael Jordan
Congratulations to Brian Baine who was the first to answer correctly!
Today's Quote:
"Begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
This one if filed in either the "Watch Where You Are Walking" file, or "Why Not To Mess With A Marine In Front Of His Friends" file. I am leaning toward the later myself. (Click on the image if you need to make it larger to read it.)
Yesterday's Answer: J. R. R. Tolkien
Today's Quote:
"I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again."
Eric grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
I used to like Eric, the little brat.
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Thomas Fuller
Today's Quote:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Paulo Coelho
Today's Quote:
"He that will not sail till all danger are over must never put to sea."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Dave Matthews
Today's Quote:
"You are not defeated when you lose. You are defeated when you quit."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Kathi
Yesterday's Answer: Aldous Huxley
Today's Quote:
"The future is no place to place your better days."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Dr. Seuss
Today's Quote:
"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Anatole France
Today's Quote:
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Bertolt Brecht
Today's Quote:
"If a million people say a foolish thing, is it still a foolish thing."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
THE GYNECOLOGIST
GRACE seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.
'Come now,' coaxed the doctor, 'you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me.'
'This one's kind of strange....'
'Let me be the judge of that,' The doctor replied.
'Well,' she said, 'yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies.'
'I see.'
'That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl.' 'That night,' she went on, 'I went again, plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!,' she implored, 'I'm scared out of my wits!'
The gynaecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. 'There, there, it's nothing to be scared about.'
'You're simply going through the change!
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Henry Thoreau
Today's Quote:
"Intelligence is not to make no mistakes, but quickly to see how to make them good."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Lee Iacocca
Today's Quote:
"Say what you have to say, not what you ought. Any truth is better than make-Believe."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Charles Buxton
Today's Quote:
"We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems"
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Phyllis Diller
Today's Quote:
"You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Martina Navratilova
Today's Quote:
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Alan Alda
Today's Quote:
"Just go out there and do what you have to do."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Eleanor Roosevelt
Today's Quote:
"Be as smart as you can, but remember that it is always better to be wise than to be smart."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Henrik Ibsen
Today's Quote:
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
The Tiny Cabin
A government worker from a big City in Massachusetts was recently transferred to the Mountains of North Carolina and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.
Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door . . . "Anybody home?" she asked.
"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.
"Is your father there?" asked the social worker.
"Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.
"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker.
"Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.
"But," protested the social worker, "are you never together as a family?"
"Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door. "This is the outhouse."
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Mother Teresa
Today's Quote:
"You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: John Adams
Today's Quote:
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Thomas Carlyle
Today's Quote:
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Sydney J. Harris
Today's Quote:
"Popular opinion is the greatest lie in the world."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Helen Keller
Today's Quote:
"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?"
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Shaquille O'Neal
Today's Quote:
"The highest result of education is tolerance."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.
AMEN
The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN
Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER
A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN
A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN
The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
INCENSE
Holy Smoke!
JESUITS
An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH
The original 'Jaws' story.
JUSTICE
When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELEISON
The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
(For you non-Catholics it means "Lord have mercy".)
MAGI
The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER
Where Mary placed Jesus because Joseph forgot the crib when packing the donkey.
PEW
A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION
The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL
The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS
People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
STABLE
Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough)
TEN COMMANDMENTS
The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS
The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Jean Antoine Petit-Senn
Today's Quote:
"Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Beth & Cindy
Yesterday's Answer: Rosalynn Carter
Today's Quote:
"It requires less character to discover the faults of others than it does to tolerate them."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Stephen Wright
Today's Quote:
"A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Albert Camus
Today's Quote:
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Will Rogers
Today's Quote:
"Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Leo Buscaglia
Today's Quote:
"A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Albert Einstein
Today's Quote:
"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
I just had a call from a local charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to help clothe the starving people throughout the world.
I told them to f*** off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Charles Dickens
Today's Quote:
"Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Javan
Today's Quote:
"We need never be ashamed of our tears."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Harvey Mackay
Today's Quote:
"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes be just be an illusion."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Michael Jordan
Today's Quote:
"Don't water your weeds."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Willis Whitney
Today's Quote:
"I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I cannot accept not trying."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: James Bryant Conant
Today's Quote:
"Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
"You ok?" she asks.
"Yes." he says.
"You can go and play with the other kids you know" she says.
It's best I stay here." he says.
"Why?" asks the blonde.
"Because I'm the goal keeper."
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Eleanor Roosevelt
Today's Quote:
"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Vince Lombardi
Today's Quote:
"You always admire what you really don't understand."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Henry David Thoreau
Today's Quote:
"If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?"
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Jim Rohn
Today's Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
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