Parenting. Where has it gone wrong?

There are many different things that get blamed when children become a menace to society. People, primarily the main-stream media, have blamed video games, rock music, television programming, poverty and divorce just to name a few. In my opinion, none of these things are the real problem. Any of these factors can contribute to the over all problem, but it doesn't change that the real problem lies in poor parenting skills. If parents took a more active role in their children's lives, whether they be single parents, or a couple, we wouldn't see nearly as many troubles in society involving criminal children. Whenever I see a news story outlining a recent tragic event involving children as the perpetrators, I always find myself asking, "where were the parents and why weren't they doing their job?"

For example, in June of 2003 an 18 year old boy is charged with the muder of two Fayette police officers and a civilian police worker. He was being apprehended for allegedly stealing a car, and after taking one of the officer's guns he shot and killed all three individuals. The 18 year old Moore is quoted as having said "life is a video game, everybody has to die sometime". On the 11th of August 2005 Moore was found guilty despite his claim that he was not guilty by reason of mental defect arising from hours spent playing GTA and years of abuse as a child.

This story probably points out what was wrong with Moore's up bringing. The alleged abuse as a child explains where his parents probably were and the role they played. In this particular case, the absence of "proper" parenting is more to blame than the video game Grand Theft Auto. It sickens me to read stories like this one because of the tragedy involved, but it is even more disgusting to watch those who commit the atrocities blame industries as an attempt to not take responsibility for their own actions. If Moore's parents had been doing their job properly to begin with, then this more than likely wouldn't have been an issue.

In a story published in a The Craig Daily Press (Wyoming) on December 2, 2006, Michael Blonigen, a district attorney, charged four Craig teenagers, Daniel Merwin, 16, James Gore, 17, Steven Liljedahl, 15, and Johnathan Milligan, 16, with conspiracy to commit aggravated robbery, armed robbery, concealing property and conspiracy to commit murder. Milligan is also charged with five additional counts of attempted murder. There is no mention of the parents in this story, or of the blame being put onto any of the major industries commonly blammed, however, it is stated that "Moffat County High School officials reported that none of the juveniles are enrolled with the high school this school year. They have been students in the past". That they had been students in the past, and are all of school age, but not currently enrolled, tells me that the parents aren't keeping a close eye on their children. This story is yet another example of what has become a recurring theme.

Over the years I have heard Ozzy Osborne criticized for leading children to satanic worship, I have heard that television shows such as The Simpson's and Married with Children, are the reason that children have become disrespectful, and I have heard some say that poverty creates problems because the "have nots" want what everyone else has. While I will not disagree that there are definite flaws in all of the things listed above, as a mother I will not blame them. It is my job to make sure that I police what my son watches on TV, and know what he is listening to on the radio, and even to know what video games he plays at home, or at his friend's house. While I don't think that these things should be taken from every child, I do think that the parent has to "know" their child. Parents must be active in knowing when their children are developing behavior that is not healthy. Once they have noted the change in behavior they must take an active role in curbing the behavior by any means possible.

Things that I try to remember, and learned first hand from my parents were, when watching television or movies, always do so with your child, and always be ready to explain what is make-believe, and what is right and what is wrong. Be open to their questions, and ready to answer them. If you think your child may ask a question about an event in the movie that you are not ready or comfortable answering, then they probably shouldn't be watching that particular movie until you are. If they want the latest Snoop Dogg CD, but you aren't sure they understand what is wrong with the lyrics, or even worse, they see nothing wrong with the lyrics, then it is time to start a dialog with your child and evaluate why your child feels what is being sung about is OK. If you have to work two jobs, and have little time at home with your kids, don't leave them on their own. Take them to a safe place that holds the same values you do. A place that can teach them and answer their questions when you aren't there. Lastly, whatever you do, no matter how busy you are, always make time for them, and remind them that they are important, and keep communication open. In my mind these are basic family values.

This doesn't mean that "Ted Bundy's" won't surface, but if more parents took responsibility for their children and a more active role as parents, I feel that a great deal of the juvenile crime rate would not exist.