Yesterday's Answer: Will Rogers
Today's Quote:
"It is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
That day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today's Quote:
"A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Kathi
Yesterday's Answer: Marilyn Monroe
Today's Quote:
"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Albert Einstein
Today's Quote:
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Dale Carnegie
Today's Quote:
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Confucius
Today's Quote:
"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Hugh Downs
Today's Quote:
"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Maureen Dowd
Today's Quote:
"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions.
The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's rubbish. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
She said:
"Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis."
I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.
I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)
Yesterday's Answer: Charles Dickens
Today's Quote:
"The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Cindy
Yesterday's Answer: Leo Aikman
Today's Quote:
"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
Yesterday's Answer: Erica Jong
Today's Quote:
"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him."
Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.
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