Yeah! What she says!

Yeah! What she says!

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

It is Really Very Simple

It is really very simple.  In this country we all have freedom of speech.  We can say whatever we want.  We do not have the freedom to choose the consequences of our speech.  We can't be arrested for saying the better part of anything, but that isn't the only possible consequence.  Often, people have forgotten that are other consequences to exercising their freedom of speech.

If you poke the bear, you are going to get bit, or pull back a bloody stump.  Not everyone is a bear, but you have be aware that some are.  If you say something, you better be aware of all possible consequences, and be ready to live with them.  If you didn't foresee a consequence, that doesn't mean you don't have to live with it.

One of the things that social media has given us, is the ability to talk crap, be rude, and treat people poorly because they can't see us, they can't reach us, and they don't know how to find us.  In many cases this means that there are no longer social consequences for mistreating others.  Does that make mistreating others OK?  Hell no, but it does mean that more are doing it because there is no punishment, and for them limited, if any consequences.

All of that being said, a bully is a bully, an asshole is an asshole, and only an ignorant fool thinks that if they hide behind the internet that they can act like a bully or an asshole and it is all OK.  You can hide behind the internet, but hiding doesn't change who you are.  You can pretend, but at the end of the day, your hiding and pretending changes nothing.  Your glutton free, paleo diet, and beach ready body, aren't going to save you from the venom you spread.  You MIT degree, and perfect family with 2.5 kids and picket fenced yard, are not what make you a good person.  Your actions, no matter how well they are hidden, are your actions.

The only person you can control in this world is you.  If more people focused as hard on actually being a good person as they do on their exercise regimen, their career, and making sure they had all the right clothes, and the right car, then this world wold be a better place.  You think you can say what you want, and hide behind the internet to say it, when you should be worrying about you, and making improvements to you.   You treat others who have different political views as stupid, and accuse them of being close-minded when they don't immediately switch opinions after you post your thoughts on the matter on Facebook.  You are anti-racism, but stereotypes are OK as long as they are political and not racial.  You can put whoever you want in a box, but anyone who tries to put you in a box is misogynistic person in a wife beater.

Just stop folks.  Look in the mirror.  Fix you.  Think about consequences.  Stop pretending to be smart, and be smart.

Friday, October 20, 2017

The NFL

I have been taking a class on religious studies.  I am enjoying the class, and the people that are in the class.  I have been learning a lot.  The class has made me question a lot of things I thought I knew, and want to learn more about things that I didn't know I supposed to know.  As it is a religious studies class, it is a group of very liberal minded people for the most part.  As far as I can tell, that may come with the territory as most conservative Christians don't question their belief system.  Most like their safe little box.  I can see why.  I have been safe in my little box before, or thought I was safe in my little box.

Every class, at the end after we discuss the reading and what we were supposed to take away from it, we talk about a topic that is in current events, and how our culture, tradition, and religion operate within us, and guide our reactions, and actions to the events.  Last night, we talked about Richard Spencer and his speech in Florida.  (I don't even like to say his name here as this gives him more recognition than he deserves, so I will not say it again.)  That conversation morphed, or transitioned into why the hateful white man in Florida was allowed to call what he did freedom of speech, while the NFL players who were kneeling during the national anthem didn't receive that same respect.  I didn't say most of these things last night.  I didn't feel I was being heard on the few items I did bring up.  I certainly didn't think for a minute that all of my points and thoughts were going to be heard with open and listening ears, and I didn't think it was worth upsetting a number of people I care about, and a number of people I am still trying to get to know, to voice an opinion that would not be taken seriously, and even it it was, would change nothing in the whole grand scheme of things.  I decided that my thoughts and feelings are better published here. 

What do I think about the protest being lead by the players of the NFL?  First, I have to say that this protest is their right.  I also have to agree that it is a peaceful protest, as all protests should be.  I have to acknowledge that it has started a discussion in this country, and made people think.  Sadly however, I do not think people are thinking about and discussing the right things.  I think that the cause the players wanted people to see, and help change is being widely ignored.  Sure, we are all still talking about their protest, but we aren't talking about why they are protesting.  Instead this country is arguing about whether or not the NFL should reprimand the players, and why any people would disrespect a symbol of the very freedom they are exercising.  Veterans who fought for the nation the flag and anthem represent feel insulted because that flag and anthem represents something they risked everything for, and that many died for.  These are the things that are being discussed.

I have heard many ask why they should have to sit still and listen to a lecture on white privilege, when most of those kneeling have more economic privilege than the rest will ever know.  It has been mentioned that this economic privilege will get the players farther than white privilege will get a poor white man.  It is hard to disagree with this argument, but that argument does not nullify the cause that the players wanted the world to see.  This argument does bring to light one of the reasons that this protest is not working to further the cause the players wish the world to see and correct.  Some in class last night called this right-wing co-opting I think.  Is that what this is?  Or is it a group of people who don't like the hypocrisy?  I am sure it is probably a little of column A and a little of column B if I have to be honest, and I try to be.

This brings me to another point I wanted to make.  If you are going to be the face that represents the protest for a cause, you have to make sure that you aren't going to make the whole thing look like an exercise in hypocrisy.  For example, Hillary Clinton, George Bush (either one), John Kerry, Mitt Romney, Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, and Tim McGraw cannot act like they know how it is to be poor to help the plight of the poor.  They can use their political, or social pull to draw attention to it and ask the public to help, and they can lead by example and donate to that cause, but if any one of them stood there and said, I was poor once, and I know how it is, they would be ignored, at the very least.  Why?  Because they are not poor now, aren't likely to be poor again, and frankly, they look like absolute hypocrites as they sit in the lap of luxury saying they were once poor and know how that feels.  No one listens to Al Gore talk about green house gases and global warming as he jets around the nation in his private jet, and the carbon foot print his mansion makes in a month is larger than the one a Ford F150 makes in a year.  People won't listen to Saudi princes talk about women's rights while they oppress the women of their nation, and students won't hear teachers who lecture on values and morality if they are personally bereft of both.  No one wants highly paid athletes suffering from their own form of privilege, to preach about any privilege, white or otherwise.  No one wants to hear how they need to help the plight of minorities from a group of athletes who are standing in a sea of  teammates showing that white is the minority in their occupation/life.  I say all of this just to draw attention to the fact that it is human nature to shut down and ignore what they view as hypocrisy.

Does this country still have a race problem?  Does racism still exist?  Are blacks profiled and pulled over for "driving while black" in certain neighborhoods?  Yes, and this is not right.  Something does need to be done, but it needs to be done right or it won't succeed and will only further alienate and divide.  That is what we are seeing now in this nation. 

I was asked on two occasions, in two different groups, in two different formats, then how should they protest if this isn't the right way?  I can only answer that I do not know.  This is a group of people who can command and audience any where by having a publicist make a phone call to the press.  This is a group of people who can throw money to the right organizations and groups to get the word out.   This is a group of people that can help educate future generations as they are looked up to and idolized, and education has always been key to progress in anything and everything.  They have far more means at their disposal than most, and the ,ore they have on their side, the more they will be able to accomplish.  Unfortunately, they are alienating so many, and converting so few to their cause, and their message is getting lost too.  Even if I don't have a better answer, it doesn't make sense to continue to do the same thing after it has been proven to be broken, is not productive, and may be doing more harm than good.  You don't keep trying to drive a car that won't run.  You don't keep replacing the car's starter, when it really needs oil, or simply because you do not know what it needs.  You stop and search for the answer.  You start a dialog, and bring the right people together to work as a team to fix what is broken.  

I know I am not remembering all of the things I wanted to say, so if there are questions after reading this, ask them please.  I am open to discussion, and think that dialog would do this nation a lot of good on a number of subjects.  If we could all stop standing on opposite sides of the same street throwing rocks at each other and talk, I think we would be better off.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

The Silence Woke Her

It seemed more than a little odd that she woke from such a pleasant dream with a sudden start, only to find herself in the middle of complete, uninterrupted, desolate silence.  What was even stranger, was that she knew that it was the complete absence of sound that woke her.  The complete lack of the usual night noises, or any unusual ones for that matter.  She could not hear the traffic on the street six stories below.  There wasn't a single sound from the neighbors in the apartment next door, no stirring pr shuffling across the floor in the apartment above.  Just nothing.  No crickets, no rats, no crying babies or barking dogs.  There wasn't the usual tink-tink-tink from the faucet in the kitchen that the super had yet to repair.  The air conditioning wasn't blowing.  Her grandmothers clock on the dresser wasn't ticking.  Nothing.  She quietly tried her voice with a simple "hello".  It went unanswered, but at least she heard it's familiar sound.  That has to be a good sign she thought out loud and then chuckled to herself as she realized that she was only talking to fill the silence.  She wasn't exactly sure what she would have done if there had been a reply, and the fact that the wasn't a reply had to be another good sign.  Maybe the clock on the dresser needed to be wound up, and maybe the faucet in the kitchen was fixed while she had been at work earlier and she just hadn't noticed.  It didn't feel hot in her room, so maybe the air conditioning hadn't needed to turn on.  She decided to go check the thermostat, the faucet, and the lock on every window and the front door.

All was as it should be.  The faucet wasn't dripping, the thermostat appeared to be reading below the magic number it would have to rise to before the air conditioning started, and all of the windows and doors were locked.  She went back to her room, and looked at her grandmother's old clock.  She missed her grandmother in that moment as she recalled this clock her grandmother's mantle, and the the smells of the delicious things her grandmother used to bake.  She shook her head as she returned to reality and then began to look, or rather feel around, for the clock's winding key.  She didn't find it resting on the base of the clock where she usually left it.  She felt around the top of the dresser, near the base of the clock, thinking it had rolled off where she had placed it, but it wasn't there.  She decided to wait until morning to look further.  It was late, and she was still tired.  She walked back to the edge of her bed, and was once again bothered by the silence that surrounded her.  Instead of climbing back beneath the covers, she walked cautiously to the bedroom window.  She peered though that blinds and saw nothing.  Just the fire escape, and the building across the alley.  She thought this was good at first, but began to worry again when she didn't see a single car on the street where it met the alley.  She went back to bed, but never got back to sleep.

A few hours later gave up hoping for sleep as the sun began to stream in the window, accompanied by yet more complete and total silence.  Did the whole city take the day off from work she thought as she headed for the one small bathroom in her two room apartment.  She relieved her full bladder, flushed the toilet, and turned on the shower.  The water only ran for a second and stopped.  She turned the bathroom faucet on, and no water was produced.  She ran to the kitchen, and found a lack of water there as well.  She grabbed her robe and slippers from the bedroom and started for the neighbor's apartment across the hall.  She banged on the door.  No answer.  She banged again, only harder.  Still no answer.  She tried the next door neighbor on the right, and the next door neighbor on the left, and then even tried to get the Chinese family two doors down and across the hall to answer even though they didn't speak a work of English.  No answer.  She returned to her apartment and locked herself back inside.  The silence, no water, no neighbors, no traffic on the street below, had all started to make her scared.  She tried to turn on the TV.  No power.  She tried to turn on the clock radio beside the bed, and it had no power either.  She reached for the phone that hung on the wall in the kitchen, and as she did, congratulated herself on skipping the more expensive, cordless model, as it would be useless with the power out as it appeared to be.  No dial tone.  She felt her chest tighten and new she was on the verge of a panic attack.  Her cell phone wouldn't come to life either.  She ran back to the bathroom as she recalled that they toilet had flushed, and tried to flush it again.  Nothing happened and she began to sob as the fear set in.

She had to do something.  Sitting here crying wasn't going to fix anything or give her any answers.  She quickly got dressed, grabbed her purse, keys, and useless cell phone.  She had to find out what was going on, and see if hers was the only building having this problem.  She opened the front door and was halfway to the elevator before she realized that she was going to have to take the stairs. She headed for the stairwell, and descended the six flights quickly, all the while dreading the return climb up those same six flights if power wasn't restored before she got back home.  She exited the building and looked up and down the street.  No cars, no people, no pets, no sounds.  She was completely alone.  She walked down the street a few blocks, looking into every window and door she could see through.  Not a soul could be found, not a single light turned on.  There weren't any TV's playing old movies or the news, and not a single radio played even one note softly in the distance.  She could hear not a single phone ringing, and she couldn't here any fights from young siblings over a treasured toy or even the wind blowing through a tree. 

She was completely alone.  Totally and completely alone.  She stopped at a bench at a bus stop, and cried. 

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Over Heard

Over heard at my kitchen table:

 Scene - Discussing cake mix brands with his girlfriend, and that there is a whole aisle of it at the local WalMart now.

CD: Is that something stupid? Like Apple would do? Like you can't put Android on the same aisle as our stuff or you are violating the contract to be allowed to carry our stuff?

Xoke: Yeah - you can't put your stuff next to ours because then everyone will know our stuff is shit.

Away From The Keyboard

I have been away a while. I have found working more that 50 hours a week at work, and raising a toddler and a teenager takes an obscene amount of time. I am not complaining. I like being a mom more than anything. That is why I have been away and what few of you there were reading this have not heard from me. I am not sure how successful I may be, but I am going to try and be around more. Writing here was something I enjoyed, and helped me cope with many things.

By the way, Captain Dramatic is almost 18 now. So far he has survived, and so have I, but we aren't done yet. With any luck, we will make it a little longer without killing each other. Pray for us.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Friday Funny

Skinny Dipping


An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "we're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think fast



I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.

I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Wednesday's Hero

This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Michael

Capt. Joseph McConnell
Capt. Joseph McConnell 32 years old from Dover, New Hampshire 39th Fighter-Interceptor Squadron, 51st Fighter-Interceptor Wing January 30 1922 – August 25 1954 U.S. Air Force

At the age of 28, Joseph McConnell was considered too old be a jet pilot in Korea, but he wouldn't let that stop him. He persisted and was assigned to 39th Fighter-Interceptor Squadron, 51st Fighter-Interceptor Wing in 1952 and was credited with shooting down 16 enemy planes in a four month period and became America's first
Triple Jet Ace when he shot down three of those planes in a single day.


You Can Read More About Capt. Joseph McConnell here and here.

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives just so others may get to enjoy freedom. For that I am proud to call them Hero.
Those Who Say That We're In A Time When There Are No Heroes, They Just Don't Know Where To Look

This post is part of Wednesday Hero. For more information about Wednesday Hero, or if you would like to post it on your site, you can go here.
Wednesday Hero Logo

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Quote Of The Day

Yesterday's Answer: Lucille Ball


Today's Quote:
"All bad precedents begin with justifiable measures."


Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Quote Of The Day

Yesterday's Answer: Eleanor Roosevelt


Today's Quote:
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age."


Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Quote Of The Day

Yesterday's Answer: Lao Tzu


Today's Quote:
"It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself."


Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.

Friday Funny

Frozen Crabs & the Blonde Stewardess

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.



I will probably offend everyone of you at least once, although I never intend to. Please take these for what they are. They are jokes. The world needs a bit more laughter.

I would love to hear your jokes as well. Feel free to email them to me, or leave them in the comments below. If I feature yours, I will ask for your website, so I can link back to you. :)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Quote Of The Day

Yesterday's Answer: Mervyn Deitel


Today's Quote:
"The biggest problem in the world could have been solved when it was small."


Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Wednesday's Hero

Maj. Britt Reed
Maj. Britt Reed
U.S. Army

Maj. Britt Reed reads a Dr. Seuss book to children during a celebration of Dr. Seuss' birthday at Fort Rucker Primary School March 2.


Photo Courtesy U.S. Army Taken By Angela Williams

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives just so others may get to enjoy freedom. For that I am proud to call them Hero.
Those Who Say That We're In A Time When There Are No Heroes, They Just Don't Know Where To Look

This post is part of Wednesday Hero. For more information about Wednesday Hero, or if you would like to post it on your site, you can go here.
Wednesday Hero Logo

Quote Of The Day

Yesterday's Answer: G. K. Chesterton


Today's Quote:
"The commonest form of malnutrition in the western world is obesity."


Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Quote Of The Day

Yesterday's Answer: Robert Heinlein


Today's Quote:
"I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean."


Submissions are welcome, but it means you can't guess on the quote you submitted. If you have a submission, please email it to mrsxoke@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name as you wish it to appear with your submission, a link to your web page or blog, and the name of the person who said or wrote your quote.