Did You Ever Stop To Think That Maybe It Isn't Everyone Else Who Has the Problem?

I have this co-worker... OK, I have several co-workers, but this one co-worker, has some personality traits that grate against my nerves.

This co-worker should run for United States President. Here are the reasons why.

1. In what other job are you EXPECTED to be a control freak? My co-worker is the biggest control freak in the world. If this person does not know every little detail of every little happening around our place of employment there is a chest beating, "I am important", show of peacock plumage, complete with yelling and prostrating, that falls just short of childish foot stamping.

2. In what other job do you get to pretend that you must do everyone else's job for them just to make sure it is right? I can not get through a single day where this co-worker lets me do my job without telling me step by step, how to do it. I have worked for my employer for 11 years for heaven's sake! What does this person think I did before they started working here? Who does this person think trained them on half of what I do, and parts of what they do?

3. In what other job can you do absolutely none of your work, but meddle in the work of the rest of the world, and still stay employed? I am serious here. My co-worker spends the day complaining about how busy their day is, but answering emails that were not addressed to them. (For this reason,I have begun to hate CC on emails). If this co-worker would stop answering emails not addressed to them, then perhaps they would have more time to do their own job. Of course, then this person wouldn't be able to make it look like they were doing all the work then.

4. In what other job can you make life more complicated than it has to be, and call it an improvement? As the head of the Federal government, my co-worker would be most confortable because this person could then enact rules, and create proceedures that would slow down the entire process, cost a ton of money, and strip every last ounce of ease from daily life. My co-worker already does this where we work. My co-worker has imense experience in this department, as this person has created a form that I must fill out for everything, and given me a matching spreadsheet to go with it. None of which were needed before this person's employment, and probably aren't really needed now. Oh, and we have several meetings a day to discuss the proper use of these forms and spreadsheets, and to ascertain if there are any others that need to be created.

5. In what other job is it acceptable to lie (or at least expected), in order to cover your own mistakes? I now make my co-worker send everything to me in writing, via email, and I keep them ALL! Not that this stops the person in question from trying to make it look like I read it wrong, or misunderstood, or like I just pulled a stupid idea out of thin air.

6. In what other job can you spend hours talking, and not really say anything, and it is OK? My co-worker has this skill mastered too. I swear this person talks, just to hear themselves talk. My co-worker explains things that a kindergartener would know because you might not be as smart as a kindergartener, and it may be relevant to something else that may be said ten minutes later!

7. In what other job can you demand the respect of everyone around you because you have a job title with manager or something higher listed after your name? In my world, everyone gets a certain amount of respect off the top. After that, it is earned. In my co-worker's world, the job title, and the college degree are enough to demand respect from anyone and everyone. My co-worker does not treat others with respect, but demands they give respect back anyway. If you don't, it is insubordination. I have literally had to tell this person that bringing a bad attitude to my desk, only get's a bad attitude thrown right back at you. I may have also reminded my co-worker that it isn't insubordination to tell someone not to treat you like crap. Refusing to blow sunshine up their ass because they want you to, isn't insubordination either. We can ask corporate to weight in on that if there is any doubt.

8. In what other job does the phrase "I'm sorry" fix it? We have all heard it. Unfortunately, "I'm sorry" fixes nothing. Especially a holier than thou attitude, and rude behaviour, unless of course you run the country. OK, so it doesn't even fix it then, but the rest of us would just have to take it for at least four years.

9. In what other job, while you pretend you are the only person busy, and act as if everyone else is doing nothing productive, can you leave early to go skiing? And while everyone else scampers around doing your bidding, to avoid your yelling, you can get in a vacation, or a round of golf? My co-worker can do this with the best of them. Worse yet? My co-worker will get your vacation canceled, so this person can take theirs. Then this person will return and proceed to tell you how to do your job again, like you weren't capable of doing it without instruction, and didn't already have the practice of doing your job the entire time they were on their vacation.

10. In what other job can everyone curse your name, not like your attitude toward others, and cringe every time they here your voice, and yet, you remain employed? Well, it seems there are two out there. My work place, and the President of the United States. At least if my co-worker became president, I could change the channel or hit the mute button, and laugh while the press went to town.